The DiaRy Of MisS BasHiRaH..

it’s as usual late..not too late..coz sumhow i’ve been sleeping earlier than usual..considering yest i fell asleep while waiting for mama 2 finish using the net.. i blame it all on work..which i just quit 2day! erm..well half of it anyway,hehe i’m no longer working at ijn..it’s sort of bittersweet thinking about it act..i cn get more rest but less money..which sucks..knwng how much i adore money [heck who doesn't?!] but all’s well since i’ve reached my aim and finally~ all that waiting..i’m finally going to buy it =D can’t hardly wait..but i’m still working at the kindy, they had a food party just now..n there were TONS of leftover food..these kiddies..so small n cute n eat so little..hehe they were all dancing around in their lil party dresses..boys..well..i guess at tht age u don’t bother 2 look good..2 busy fooling around and trying to pick a fight..ehehe tho there’s this one kyd..zahir..6 yrs old..honestly..i cnt stand him..call me immature..bt he is SUCH a bully! even to gurls! *n of course there’s lil ol’ me who absolutely ADORES picking a fight with him whnvr i can haha* get ths..he bullies lyke mad and if someone act punches or hits him a bit,he’ll CRY lyke a baby! honestly such cowards shouldn’t be allowed out without a spank haha..sigh..bt i knw i’ve got 2 stop disturbing him..just now a gurl cried because he ripped that poor gurl’s bow on her party dress [tht was truly an accident,mind u..or else i would've tortured him hihi] and there’s this other kyd..arriz..he’s..well..the young version of the most-popular-guy-in-school.. there is something diff abt him..despite the fact that he’s SOoOoO NAUGHTY! he’s REALLYYY intelligent as well.. he gets his work done fast and wallah..no mistakes.. but his energy level..whoosh..hmm hmm..a gurl..camelia..she’s the most-popular-gurl-in-school hehe but no one can blame her..she’s ur typical sweet, nice, polite PLUS! minus the bitchy attitude..and she’s really pretty..her cousin, julia..absolutely worships her..now how do i knw ths? for d fact tht she copies e’thing cami does hehe frm choosing the food to the way her bday party is going to be held..such kiddies..so cute..2 more weeks n prob i’m off that job too..owh but i cant 4gt the twins! syed misyraf and syed mirsyad..frankly..misyraf is the cute one n absolutely adorable in evry single way hehe also considered as my fav student hehe except whn he poops i feel like puking whn i hv 2 change his nappy..yuck~ i guess in ths kindy i can act predict wt kind of ppl they’ll b whn they grow up..except maybe life-changing experiences will make them change their personality a bit..my fav gurl is prob daniyyah,whose 5..btw misyraf is 3,cami,julia,arriz and zahir are all 6.. back to daniyyah..i once asked her if she could speak malay..haha n she stared at me with ths blur look..she stayed in aussy for a yr n i just love her accent! hehe i lyke to talk to her whnvr i cn..which is rare..considering i hv to ensure all these 3 n 4 yr olds dun hurt themselves or run off sumwhr or take any toys whn their not supposd 2..one thing about kindy’s are..they make u hv a flashbck of wt ur childhood life used to be lyke..like the ‘xnk kwn’ thing..hehe n those bday parties! with the clowns and magic shows, and statue dances and all those candy..seems like lightyrs away huh? all grown up but seriously..being a kyd..or the most we can do now is hang around one..enlightens you’re very soul..hehe coz u hv to be excited n happy all the tyme n when u see them happy because of u,it’s kind of calming in it’s own way..their so pure..i’m gonna miss them hehe but hey! tht doesn’t mean i’m giving up my dream to be someone in the corporate world..hehe much more suitable for my personality..i’m going to be like my dad..insya-Allah if thts the road for me..my eyes are starting to be heavy but i’ve got loads on my mind..reading novels can really wind up my imagination..i was thinking if i were to be in a different world..say london [which is EXACTLY the place i hv always wanted and still do, to live in] how would my life be like..i remember the pub just below my apartment when i was staying in london..at nyte,after saying good night to my parents and switching off he lights, hannan n i would peek at them at our window..looking down on them having fun,listening to the sounds of glasses clinking and the people singing songs as they walked on their wobbly legs drunk by the beer and drinks hehe it was fun..and although in the novels i read it stated how gloomy london always is..i wonder y i nvr pictured it as that..it was always jolly and perky..winter can be xtremely cold but spring was pretty and summer was just wa-ay too hot huhu the parks there were awesome and i remember keeping the crusts from our loaf of bread..collecting it and bringing the bag to fritzroy square, and ‘mencangkung’ on the bench to avoid the pigeons from pecking our feet, we would scatter the pieces of bread for them to eat.. after a while the pigeons knew of our routine and so we just threw the contains and screamed as we ran away hehe i remember my first attempt to copy the british accent..hehe i said to london taxi driver that we wanted to go to fritzroy street which in the end brought us to VICTORIA street! hehe mama was furious n i nvr did try to copy the accent again..and there’s the lovely school.. ‘all souls’ where my crush was there..i can’t even remember his name anymore haha but he had green eyes and brown hair..xtremely cute and was obv the naughtiest boy in class but the soccer star..silly,silly,silly..heeee.. my best friend, whom still i miss to death..amy shirley cursty..who befriended me the 1st day i was there and she was soOoOo nice! whr the HELL cn u be?! huhu she’s one of those in the popular group bt not-so..coz their really mean..bt the power they hv over the school..sgt menakutkn..the most popular girl..sarah..with her nail polish and typical blonde hair and absolutely all the boys at her feet..jeez~ there was this one tyme, a bully necked my sys n he said to sarah ‘i’m gonna punch her if u want me’ i nearly screamed but all sarah had to do was wave her hand and say ‘lay off’ and he let her go..scumbag..and there was also one tyme a couple kissed in the lil dollhse! haha it was so funny.. every1 crowded around them to watch n amy was lyke ‘u hv 2 watch it!it’s amazing’ hahahahah i guess some memories cn nvr fade..it ws so sweet..but of course..the main reason we were there was because of nawal..i was too young to care much i guess..which makes me a bit guilty now..she had to have her operation on her tumor in london because m’sia din hv the facilities yet at tht tyme..it was hard..mama was constantly at the hosp n i remember being scared of nawal whn i was really small..which makes me feel so horrible now tht i think back..i’m so glad she’s so much better now..i’m glad we’ve settled down..we’ve had our rough times..not just a lil bit..definitely a lot..but there’s a reason for it..i wouldn’t be the person i am 2day if it weren’t for those complications..we made through it..with the support of my beloved friends and my family members who i hold close to my heart..esp in f4..hard tymes..majorly hard tymes..hehe i’m nt saying i’m an amazing person or anything..i think, n hope..i’ll be able 2 endure pain easier..after the  pain of the past that has healed..it kind of makes u grow up a bit..and see a bigger picture..anyway..i’ve still got loads to tell..but i’m too tired to type it all out..i wish there was this machine that could write down e’thing u thought about..but provided u cn choose wt u want to be written down laa hehe..all in all..i’m pooped..window shopping tommorow..with minn..tyme for sumore gurly chats hehe cnt wait..gnyte world..over n out~

it’s been a long tyme..yup..yup..nt into blogging nymore..been horribly bz..bt i guess i’m gonna quit my job soon..phew thank God..i’m bloody tired..hehe n i’ve collectd enough money hiks~ 2 weeks more n i’m freeeeee!!!

urmm..okay enough of tht..

well then..results..hrm..i thnk.. mainly..i wanna apologise 2 every person that i din see last mon..i’m really sorry..mmg din wanna stay long..i just stayd for lyke 20mins and left..i was in a state of blurrr…din wana talk..din wana laugh..din wana cry..just wantd 2 b a zombie huhu and since i came late i thot i’d b okay no one would notice..guess i was wrong abt tht..gosh syg gle knights..sorrryy again..hehe hurm..bz bz bz..i knw 4 ths month it’s gonna feel lyke last yr again..waiting for your rezeki..if u gt a scholar or not..it feels lyke hell..esp if u need it so much..sigh sigh..

othr than that..i’m barely feeling happiness these days..sumpah i need 2 cry!!! i seriously HV NO IDEA y i cnt cry..dh nearly a yr i hvnt cried..i cnt remember whn ws d last tyme i did..jeez..i’m a gurl..i’m supposd 2 cry..n i’m stressd as hell ryte now..i just cnt..sigh…

caylaaa…mls nk tules dh…depressd…so much work 2moro..

later~

MALAYSIA..a beautiful country full of freeedom and peace..the ppl in ths country are matured enough 2 knw tht war is not the answer 2 probs..thus one of the major things tht were against is DISCRIMINATION! n i just discoverd one of d horrible truths of discrimination thts happening in our country..and it is abt discrimination against women wearing the hijab!of all things! were in a muslim country for God’s sake..wearing the hijab should be encouraged [e'tho of course d respect 4 other religions are also a must..no doubt abt tht] and it shouldn’t be used against thm..esp whn sum1 is just looking out 4 a job 4 their financial needs..get a grip..fine..businness yea rite~i wnt 2 ths cafe *shant be mentioned..i might get sued or sumthing..manelaa tau crazy ppl these days* and asked if they had a job vacancy..n she askd me 2 take my hijab off..n i apologized saying tht i wouldn’t..and of course d job ws turned down..and most of the shops thr said d same thing..1st of all..if u think i’m immatured 4 taking it personally..i’d like 2 state tht e’tho i’m just 18 *nxt month.. bley la 2* it is STILL a discrimination 2wards muslims..come on..pak lah already hinted against discrimination 2wards malays..equality is wt brings d ppl of ths country 2gthr..so wt the hell does wearing hijab hv 2 do with anything? esp whn looking out 4 a job..if u cn present urself well..cn communicate well in english and also please the customers..isn’t tht far better than a person NOT wearing the hijab tht scowls at the customers and cnt speak a word?? yea u cn say u’ll obv choose a person tht has d full package..but shouldn’t a person wearing the hijab b gvn d chance 2 try out at least? u nvr knw..NVR underestimate ppl..tht much i’ve learnt..coz how many tymes tah i’ve been underestimated of being unable 2 converse in eng fluently..they’d look down on me and hv ths ‘u r merely useless in ths world’ look..until i open my mouth 2 talk 2 them..barula they act treat me with respect..a woman said 2 me once.. ‘dear,did u go 2 school abroad?’ adeyh…n nope..i went 2 school in malaysia..a country tht HAS a LOT of malays who can speak english fluently thank u very much..ppl always hv d same mentality ’she’s wearing tudung,she must not b tht educated,she must not knw how 2 speak english very well’ pls..don’t sink down tht low..coz no matter how great u think u r..thr are TONS of ppl better than u..*reminder 2 myself 2* so a note 4 future leaders..gv a fair chance 2 e’one in ths world..coz they may impress u more than u’d ever dream of happening..and 2 shops around malaysia who doesn’t accept women staff who wears tudung..shame on u 4 discriminating us..get real..n it doesn’t matter tht thr are a lot of other jobs tht doesn’t state such a shameful thing..it is STILL discrimination..no matter how u put it..so please..i hope ths cn at least gv a bit of a reminder 2 me n whoever wnts 2 read my boring blog huhu.. we shall b fair 2 e’one..amin~’nuff said..hehe

‘cinta..dgrkn hatiku..xmahu sesuatu merebut engkau..naluriku berkata,xigin terulang lg,kehilangan cinta hati,bagai langkah xbernyawa, aku junjung petua mu, cintai dia yg mecintaiku,hatinya turut berlayar kini telah mengerti..Bukankah hidup kita akhirnya harus bahagia?’

‘Love can make you feel so funny..No house, no car, not even money..Will make me feel the way..What I’m really trying to say Can’t live another day..Without you’

’sehari dengan orang yang kita sayang, walau macam mana susah adalah lebih bermakna daripada seumur hidup dengan orang yang kita tak sayang’

‘awak tau x? Perasaaanye,bile kite jumpe org tu? Lepas tu kite terus tau,Yg dielah teman hidup kite..’

‘kadang-kadang..Org yg plg kite sayanglah plg susah utk disayang..’

‘Sering kita terlalai mengejar apa yang belum pasti..hingga kita terlupa..Meraikan satu-satunya perkara yang menjanjikan kebahagiaan..’

‘isteri bkn hak milik,tp anugerah Allah…’

‘bukan sng nk dpt teman hidup,Yg sanggup terime buruk baik kite,Sanggup berkorban utk kite,Sanggup hidup bersama,Sampai akhir hayat….’

yet again..just came back and my whole body’s aching..bloody dinner..huhu frankly i so do not enjoy spending hours just chatting and making small talk..i’d rather laugh and hv fun..then again who am i 2 say..i just came back frm ths bday dinner at the lake club..jeez..i din hv fun at all..xcept for the yummy cake and food i guess.. i honestly dun even knw y i agreed 2 go..the whole tyme..i just waited..n waited..n waited..and there were singers on stage singing and the disco ball was on in the middle of the dance floor..sadly..thr wsnt any1 my age..and i had 2 watch all these all folk dancing haahaha my grandpa askd me 4 a dance but the songs weren’t my type..and bsydes i’d be d only lyke..under 40 yr old..whn ’sway’ came on..atok din wanna dance nemore..bt i liked observing them dancing..although yea mama ws rite..they din exactly hv wt we always see in d mvs ‘chemistry’ hehe bt they’re steps were arranged and it suddenly hit me tht d place could be made 4 a prom or sumthing *nvr been 2 one..saje je* bt i guess it was 2 posh..no jeans..tie and formal dressing bla bla bla and as usual i had 2 sit up str8 and act all graceful *hiks* but of course it wsn’t anything besides an ACT.. honestly my life is split into 2.. there’s this absolutely relaxd sempoi nk mati side..and another rigid,graceful and full of manners side..well i guess it’s all due 2 my parents backgrounds..they’re REALLY diff..sumtymes i wonder hw they fit with each other..but i only let my hair down whn i’m with the sempoi side of the family.. i can chill n make jokes and make a fool of myself and be bloody manje and act like a kid all i want without worrying if anyone would scold me or look at me weirdly..hehe the other side of my family is d absolute opposite..i’ve gt 2 b incredibly obedient and ladylike and wear the prettiest clothes and make up and smile all the time and definitely present myself well hehehhe it’s like playing dress up a bit..and it’s fun.. but as the yrs go by.. it gets bloody boring..and i just came back frm one of the dinners..i couldn’t wait 2 change into my jammies and chill listening to norah jones and lilly allen..god i think i’m getting older listening 2 slow songs bt it’s really calming..okay back to wt i ws saying..i love my life bcoz of tht..i get 2 taste a bit of both..and choose wt kind of lifestyle i want 4 myself whn i grow older..and i’ve decided..both.. coz it helps..at least i knw how 2 chill..and i knw how to behave..bt rite nw..i’m just in the mood to slow dance bt i dun hv a partner so i guess i hv to pause my urge huhu..watching all those ppl dancing..esp slow dancing..it looked really romantic act [eww strting 2 b jiwang] and the singers were quite good..except whn they tried 2 sing ‘my heart’ soweee babe..but the gurls voice ws wa-ay diff hehehehe better luck nxt tyme..act the eve startd off horribly bt i solved the prob with a lil confrontation..whch ws badly needed..bt i guess it ws a okay laa..huhu seriously norah jone’s songs are totally relaxing..whch is wt i need rite nw..just came back frm pd act.. and thts d main reason y i’m dead tired..after swimming 20 laps today..no wonder laa..the sea ws awesome..bt d banana boat ws d best..it ws damn fast n exciting hehe hanging out with my siblings is act pretty awesome..hehe it’s been 5 yrs since i’ve hung out with them ths long..and i’ve gt sum catching up 2 do..it’s funny.. i just realized hw mch i love them [thank god their nvr reading ths hehe] d days in pd ws spnt with swimming and of course it ws gr8..d sea..d pool hehe THE SEA of course..my beloved..lovely3..nway..raya haji is a few days away..ppl are starting 2 go bck 2 their kg’s huhu n of course..as usual..d city gurl lays back at home hehehhehe bt i’ll prob b going 2 yayi’s masjid 2 watch korban..he’s gonna do it so i’ll brace myself with all d blood [major yuck~!] bt i’m gonna hv fun..and i wanna spnd new yr happily..hannan xnk join skati~ hehe alritey then..i guess thts it 4 nw..i wanna njoy ths song..later~

12.45am..chatting with sum frnds..while writing ths blog..huhu well i’m in a mood 2 act write..visited jk rowling’s site..kinda cool..n also harry potter..coz dinie called me just nw 2 ask whn the nxt hp book is coming out..whch of course i’m simply clueless abt..i’m really bad at keeping track on news around me..i’ll be lyke ‘whoa?huh?whn did tht happen?’ blur..haha..my lil bro n my cousin is playing vid games while i’m not xactly sleepy bt i knw i need my sleep..trok laa tdo awal..worse eyebags..i’m lyke..prone 2 eyebags or sumthing..creams?tried it..doesnt work..blueekk..neway huhu just got back frm nenek’s hse..jumpe all my cuteyy lil cousins frm d age 2 months to std 6…really sumtymes i hate being one of the older ones..bt it’s fun coz bley suro diorang "gimme a kiss" and my lil cousin will gimme a smack on the cheek..huhu so cute..and all ths saliva will be stuck on my cheek hahahaha bt kesian my cuteyy pie 7 month old cousin hud bled his nose..n adeyh..i def hv a prob with blood..not tht i want 2..anyway pityy himm…bt we all had loads of fun…bising nk mati [as usual] lil kiddies trying to taunt me n hannan [owh pleez..haha] humour them of course..haha n uzair came up to me saying ‘achu ckp happy christmas’ haha understand2.. cute..and it ws haziq’s bday so thr was a cake with batman on it..and every single toddler ws screaming and yelling "nk batman!!!nk batman!!!" ilya just finishd crying and ws sitting on my lap he whisprd d same thing.one thing i like abt him..he’s really quiet [nt all the tyme laa..whn he's wrestling and kicking he makes a hell lot of noise] and focused whn he plays with toys n stuff..n he’s cute..thts y i really like him..and between my cousins..he cn be really manje whch is so cute haha..okay sumtymes i cn be obsessed with kydds..they’re extremely cute.. we had so many things 4 dinner [omg hw many kg's worth?!] mama’s fault..she made roast chicken..and my aunts made curry and sambal udang laa..ni laaa tu laa..byk gle hehehe bt i def enjoyed myself..bt reversing to ths morning..nothing much i guess..nothing much at all…i’m happy to see mama n papa really3 close..nothing cn make me happier..papa called me down for breakfast n they were seated at the dining table with lontong and nasi lemak in the middle..they went 4 their usual jog [i'm so happy they're doing thngs 2gthr!!!hehhe] while hannan ws still sleeping *something abt : hellooo?! i deserve my sleep!i hvnt been sleeping well 4 5 days!! <— again..i’ll just roll my eyes ‘wtv’ haha and i so haven’t forgiven her on stealing..i repeat.. STEALING my jeans..sumhow i feel like i’ve lost some of my clothes or something.. which means : shopping tyme!!!! hehehehe christmas sale rocks of course..bt with no money..it sucks big tyme..thts the main reason i’m working..and tommorow i hv no plans..my plan : is to plan 4 nxt yr hehe weird? bt true..i’m ths unorganized freak who works ONLY whn i want 2 [i knw it's horrible!], if i don’t want 2 work..i laze around the hse lyke with my cats..i refuse 2 get up frm my usual places ie. the couch/my bed/the comp chair.. and i seriously think i’m gonna hv to wear glasses soon hahaha whch i’d look UGLY in.. i try to make it up by eating veggies [yummy..] and i’m borrowing hannan’s laptop bt till ths mon je bley..bt nvmind..the pc’s always arnd..haha well so far the movies that i’ve watched..are just 2!! cn u blv it? i hv no life~ bt their both nice laa huhu cinta and happy feet.. cinta.. good story..i’m not exactly obsessed with it lyke e’one else is..bt i hv to admit it’s really good..haha i din cry though..it ws sad..considering ade org tu nanges 5 kali..melampau tol..huhu bt sweet too..ade a person beside me watching the movie skali sang beriye gle hehehehe esp the song : ikhlas tp jauh..n belaian jiwa.. huhu jiwang abes..hehe bt it ws sweet..the song..the scene at tht time..i think i pitied a lot of ppl in tht mv..bt it gvs a sort of negative impression 2wards women..bt then again who am i to judge..e’thing is done with a reason..well wtv it is..it better be good!!! hehe n happy feet was soOoOO adorably cute!!! i loved him =) hehe okay i’m done crapping as usual..gtg already..it’s way late.. i hvnt stayed up ths late 4 so long..it’s gonna be a hard day 2moro huhu..btw..all the best to the performance!! i’ll be praying..ur gonna do gr8 *u knw who u r* bubbye..

today.. i learnt something…a lesson on life.. that somehow made me realize what a terrible person i am.. and seeing that i don’t have to think about spm nemore *winks* i can act afford to think about this.. my attitude has got to change.. i’ve got this mind set.. although it wasn’t what i wanted.. a very negative perspective towards a particular group..it’s not that i wanted to.. but what i’ve been taught since i was small.. has made me think that way.. but rite now.. i don’t have to listen to people anymore.. God granted me a brain to use.. so i’ m gonna think abt it.. and i’m trying to instill in myself that this thought only makes me vulnerable and insecure.. and actually, i don’t even want to feel this way.. why is trusting ppl so hard? i mean.. i want to.. bt God knows how many ppl keep telling me "don’t ever trust….look wt hapnd to bla bla bla" n frankly.. i’m sick of it..i really do wanna be the kind of person that trusts people.. but incredibly cautious too.. coz lyke hello? who wants to risk getting hurt? but that is exactly what getting into a relationship does.. whatever kind of relationship..friendship/love/family.. allowing yourself to love someone risks yourself of getting hurt..and guess what? and i’ve risked all three and i’ve been hurt 2/3 of it.. the most typical thing to get hurt from? love..huhu funny thing is..i haven’t xperienced that kind of betrayal..and thank God..*smiles* anyway.. getting hurt is horrible.. but it toughens you up..and i learnt a few things.. getting to know someone is definitely BLOOOOODY IMPORTANT.. and 1 year?? def. isn’t enough.. haha i thought i knew sum1.. in the end.. i suffered.. 2nd chances are for real..but constant mistakes? what the hell?? so i learnt to take a risk..but know your boundaries.. and i don’t wanna be judgemental to that group..coz i try my best not to be judgemental to any1..but suddenly i think i am TOO judgemental towards them.. and i’ve got no right..seeing that i’m not God~haha i’m crapping.. main point.. i’m human…i’ve got tons of weaknesses.. which i’m trying to work out…resolutions..and not everyone is bad.. that thing has to replace this thought in my head..coz i’ve found someone who has showed me respect.. one that i never thought could be true..it’s hard to place in words..i don’t trust easily…but sum1 said to me ‘trust easily..nvr be gullible..once the trust is broken,it can’t be gained’ and i guess it’s an okay point of view.. one that i can take..at least i can be free to trust without worrying to much.. which will only make me age faster..hiks~ i know which priority comes first.. and risking things..gives back stuff that sometimes..makes the risk worth it..honestly..risking ur heart in a fship..xchanges it with a comfort that makes you safe..same goes to love etc. etc..and i’ve done a lot of wrong to people.. for thinking that i had the right to test them..and i got to know..who the hell am i..to act do that..God i feel terrible right now.. but at least it’s a lesson that i’ve learnt..and nvr ever be rude.. to people at any age.. or gender..and i’m sorry to anyone that i’ve been rude at..it wasn’t intentional..lessons in life..responsibility..respect..e’thing in life.. i’m learning.. as you get older.. you act consider other people’s feelings.. and try not to be selfish.. huhu seriously this is the kind of blog totally reeks of ‘down-in-the-dumps’..but thx mama..really.

5 minutes.. i’m leaving home shweet home.. back to coll~ and this is prob the earliest since cam i have to give a TOUR to my mom’s friends [think i xde keje ek?] huhu fine2.. no biggie since they came to visit m’sia balek.. wtv.. i’m off early.. and i just reformated my mp3.. yay dh bley gune.. thanks far for helping me.. adeyh.. i’m. well.. not really sad laa to leave home.. i think bak kate papa ‘quiet holiday’.. yep.. deifinitely.. just went to midval lyke.. once.. whoosh.. major difference than wt i’m used to heheh.. but neway.. didn’t enjoy myself much pon.. papa wanted to bring all of us shopping.. and i’m really guilty now.. but hoestly mase tu mmg xde mood.. i was lyke having a stomache ache and papa ajak gi shopping.. adeyh.. i guess i just wanted to sit alone and ntah.. bwt keje sendiri.. passive gle.. ahaks~n yest i think was the first tyme that i slept later than usual.. erm.. (*jgn sediyyyyyy..be happpyyy =)*) i’m with u.. always.. cay laa 5 minutes is up.. i gtg.. out from home n back to school.. and these bloody retainers mmg make me pelat gile.. hhuuhu.. 2 ayie,naju’ and tengue : jgn ngengade nak immitate my ’s’ or ‘c’ huhu.. bubbye..

time flies so fast..make that TOO fast.. i’m starting to panic already.. huhu.. cayh dun wanna bring up that topic.. hurmm.. the latest zip on me i guess is the fact that i just became free of my totally uncomfortable prison…huhu in other words my bloody braces.. finally.. talk about loOng~ huhu but it was so worth it i tell ya.. this holiday is pretty short.. 6 days.. considering that it was originally like more than a week long.. but i didn’t mind at all.. the extra classes were great.. well except for bio.. i couldn’t understand what the lecturer talked about.. and i asked mr tan and he explained to me in lyke, less than a minute.. so goes to show she’s teaching wa-ay above our level..at this tyme laa.. so anyway..back to the hols part.. muahaha eventhough it IS the hols.. don’t really feel lyke it.. still have to hit the books i guess.. unless i wanna suffer later n have a humoungeous headache from not studying..i really liked.. wait, no.. LOVED the addmaths thingy..best gell..perah otak n happy gell while buat.. haha special thanks to farahah!! helped me a lot babe~hehehe so anyway life is okay nothing special.. my life is well.. umm.. organized? bley laa..no troubles.. if ade pn i don’t give a damn haha sort of in my own world where i think all that matters is the big 3 letters.. n i guess it’s really crucial at this time to have total support from ppl coz u can’t go through this alone.. erm.. ke it’s just me? but i know i can’t go through it alone.. and sometimes the ppl that i really depend on to help support me.. don’t really do that.. instead sometimes they make it worst.. like it’s my fault or something..but thank God there are other ppl to help support me.. and in this case.. your friends all need support.. so you can’t really count on them.. that’s why the person i was expecting to support me really let me down.. and i guess i turned to hannan (jgn kembang LANSONG!! -if u ever even drop by my blog that is-) coz she’s the only one free to gv me total support.. tx so much sys.. and as for grad nyte.. i guess i’ll be wearing anything i can find since.. umm.. exact words : we don’t have time.. *sigh* yep.. that’s always it i guess.. they nvr do have time.. for anything that involves me.. wtv.. mls nk elaborate lagi.. mls nk get myself down (again).. i guess mmg 2nd childs have to be bloody independant and i’ll show them i totally am capable of living life without them..but but but.. i thank God.. thank you.. for granting me something that i’ll remember for the rest of my life.. my treasure.. my happiness.. thank you..for making my days brighter than normal.. for making me smile whenever i was sad.. telling me it that it’s okay to feel down.. and to try and cheer me up.. for everytime you cheered me up (pujuk as in the fav word) huhu i was and shall forever be grateful..and until this day..it’s been 3 months since i haven’t seen this person.. and it’s gonna be another 3 months till i do.. and jeez i miss this person so much.. but i guess i have to be totally patient aite.. so if that person knows who it is.. just know that i’ll be waiting.. and i can’t wait to smile when i meet this person.. awaiting that day.. which i know will be totally awesome.. so like till then.. this gurl shall be totally patient waiting that particular special day…love lots…

time flies so fast n seriously it’s just 1 week to sbp trials.. bloody hell.. anyway.. got e’thing done today.. thank God.. n hung out with hannan.. grad nyte? it’s so darn early.. hopefully we’ll make it n it’ll be great.. buut hehe i had my night.. aleefa,minn..it was SoOooO worth it [u babes so know wt i mean haha] u guys looked awesome.. duh obv hehe.. saturday night.. dun worry.. i’ll gv u guys the pics whn their developed.. i loved that night.. anyway, partying time is over.. orchest is over.. to all tkc rythm squad : u were awesome~ we did our best n we’re so darn satisfied.. huhu i’ll be totally in tears end of ths yr.. sediyh GELL leave band.. i have officially retired.. who shall get the title of the next ‘instruments and maintaintence mistress’? huhu whoever it is.. good luck.. tough work.. but best gell heheh.. to all the juniors.. bring it up babes.. we know you can do it~ next year.. i am so coming.. we are so coming to watch orchest =) .. it was totally an unfogettable experience.. and we are so close.. familyy.. hehe and we’re so,so grateful to our instructors.. definitely have been such a major blessing.. thank God both of you were there.. huhu bubbye tkc rythm squad.. "stand tall, keep pride, have faith".. n then there was kem komsas.. huhu best gak.. totally fun.. learned TONS of new words.. hehe [igt ak ayie?] n then there was sat night.. the awesome party which was so unfogettable.. aleefa,minn,sha, n nadye..aak n nabaw : best dressed! heheh suitable as a couple more lyke it hehehhe..everyone was crazy in the pool.. n the barbeque was yummy gell.. it was fun.. esp coz the whole batch got to be there.. and now.. that’s all switched off.. study time.. all the way..sbp trials.. then jpns… then the real thing… speaking of which.. i gotta go.. see ya~